Whitey has been reading Ben Hogan – An American Life this weekend — on tape and provided by the State Library for the Blind. Last week he read a book about Satchel Paige and one about Tiger Woods. The State Libraries in the United States offer an excellent service for the blind and visually impaired. LIBRARY SERVICES FOR THE BLIND A BRIEF REVIEW AND OVERVIEW says that “When one talks about the “library for the blind,” generally reference is made to one of the fifty-six regional libraries that are the primary delivery source of books and magazines for blind Americans. While there are other entities involved, the basic unit of the library system is the regional library. Currently, most regional libraries serve a geographical area defined by the state in which they are located.”

What I can tell you is that we have certainly enjoyed the services of the State Library for the Blind in South Carolina. They not only provide books on request or per interest, but they also provide the equipment to play the tapes. South Carolina is now switching to digital books instead of tapes, a process that will take two or three years. Last week, I requested that Whitey be put on that list too, and now we have a wonderful little digital player that actually speaks the instructions when a button is pushed. “Volume Up” and “Volume Down” and “the machine is now off”. This is even better than the tape player!

Today I put some oldies (1950’s music) on a little thumb drive, put it in the machine, and Whitey was able to operate it with ease! I am thrilled at the prospects of what I will be able to do with that little machine. I am sure it will provide many hours of reading and music pleasure.

PS I was unable to find a complete list of state libraries for the blind, but if you search “state library for the blind in YOUR STATE”, you should be able to locate them quickly.

Happy Reading!

Making a journal of the grandchildren’s cute sayings is a fun project. Of course, since Whitey is legally blind, we do this a little differently.

When one of the grandchildren says something cute, sweet, delightful, funny or wonderful, Whitey makes a note with his 20-20 pen and a legal pad. (We think everything they do or say is precious!) Then, later, when we have a quiet time, I will type what he has written. Whitey does have to be with me because his handwriting is not easily read. Between us, we remember those special moments (using his reminder notes) and we get them typed up. Then on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day, we give that special list to their parents.

Of course, I must share the latest example. We have a golden retriever named Hogan. Whitey often calls her Hoganmeister, as a sort of nickname. Yesterday our grandson asked, “Poppy, why is Hogan’s last name Meister?”

Now, you know we have to write that one down and hold on to that precious delightful moment! Are you journaling the precious words your grandchildren say? Our grands are early elementary now, but even looking back to when they were 2 and 3 is great fun. These little journals of ours will be a treasure to them one day, and it is a very simple thing for us to do for them.

We went to a dance tonight. The Rock Hill Shag Club had a huge dance with the Coastline Band performing! It was a super group and a fun party. And of course, Whitey, my legally blind husband, was excited about going. We both enjoy dancing — shag and country line dancing. With predictions of terrible weather, I was a bit anxious, but we decided to go on. I am glad we did.

In the 1950’s and 1960’s, high school students of the Carolinas flocked to Myrtle Beach — actually they still do. But back in the 50’s and 60’s, everybody danced the Shag or the Carolina Shag, as it is sometimes called. Wikipedia says The Carolina Shag is a six count partner dance done mostly to moderate tempo music (100-150 bpm). During the dance the upper body and hips hardly move as the legs do convoluted kicks and fancy footwork. The Carolina Shag is the state dance of North Carolina and South Carolina.

For some reason, those high school students of the 50’s and 60’s have never let go of those happy, carefree days. Perhaps because it’s such a perfect dance!

Dancing is a great way to celebrate life! What is the custom where you live? Do the seniors in your area still dance the dances of their high school days like we do? We certainly do not dance as well as the professionals, but this video will show you how the professionals do the Carolina Shag. Just click and the video will play right here in this blog. And thank you for visiting!

Carolina Shag Professionals

For baby boomers and seniors, the balance between caring for our elderly and smothering their independence is a very very delicate one. It reminds me of mothering little children – as they learn to walk, the first day at school, the first ride around the block on a bicycle, the first night out in the car. How agonizing that was for me as a parent! Every single step! Parental pride, of course, with each step. But agonizingly difficult! We want our children to grow up and we don’t want to let them go — all at the same time!

The very same tension exists with our elderly and disabled. How much control is too much? Where do we draw the line? Is tending the garden too physically difficult for mom? Is it time to make her stop and maybe build her a little garden on the deck?

With my legally blind husband, I have faced these issues almost daily. How much coddling is protection and how much interferes with his independence? Do I really want him to be that dependent on me? Gradually I have let go. Very gradually. But it is necessary. He must be allowed to live his life without a day full of nagging from me — even when I am afraid for him.

Yes, Susan, after your comment about your 80 year old dad buying himself a bicycle for transportation, I have been pondering this issue. How delightful that your dad thought about the bicycle! I just love that! And can see him now, pedaling down the street! If you have ever visited Key West, Florida, you know all those 80 and 90 year olds ride their bicycles everywhere, often with a poodle in the bicycle basket. They seem to be having a fabulous time!

Yes, we must perform the common sense safety precautions, as we did with our children, but then, we have to let go. And it’s no easier with our parents or disabled spouses than it was with our children. But let go we must. And we will.

Probably the hardest day for Whitey, after he was diagnosed as legally blind, was the day the doctor told him he could no longer drive the car.

The doctor called our home, asked me if we could both get on the telephone and we did. And he very clearly told Whitey he absolutely could no longer drive a car. Our lives changed seriously that day. Losing the independence that comes with driving your car can be very difficult. Suddenly Whitey was dependent on us for every errand, every visit to a friend, and it seemed to him, everything he wanted to do. It was difficult for him to ask to go places.

All of us, if we are lucky to live so long, will one day be told not to drive anymore. Are you prepared for that? This video shows 84 year old Ernie Siegel taking a driving test. It is a thought provoking video. As you watch the video, picture yourself, or your parents, in this situation. Are you ready to accept the results of such a test?

Just click on the link and the video will show right here on the blog!

Senior Driving Test

I asked family members, my children and my sisters, to tell you about Whitey – in their words. Sister Betty wrote this today. I was concerned when I read it because it focuses on me. But I had agreed to post her note as is — and thank you, Betty! I appreciate your ever constant support!

Any marriage requires teamwork. When one partner is disabled, it just takes a bit more balancing things around. I don’t fold clean clothes any more and Whitey does not cook. I don’t empty trash either, and Whitey does not pay bills. In other words, we have created our own kind of balance around here. I have to admit we never ran our household or parented our kids like anybody else anyway! (And both kids turned out to be delightful and responsible adults, and we are thankful for that.)

Photo of Betty and I at Unity Conference in 1995! Time sure flies when you are having fun!

Betty’s Post:
I’ve seen it all! Once- sometimes twice- a year, I spend several days with Joan and Whitey. Each time, I return home inspired – not only by Whitey, but by Joan as well, and yes, the extended family, too. I’ve watched Whitey leave in the predawn hours for his walk, get his snacks or drinks, laugh, do household chores, dance, enjoy his children and grands, give hugs, extend a thoughtful gesture to a friend, carry on a caring conversation, challenge someone with a trivia question, and laugh more! And I watched Joan as she prepares his dinner plate, reads him golf scores, responds to his concerns about his matching clothes, laughs at his jokes, tells news from the mail, types business matters, and does all errand or trip driving. Their teamwork is amazing! I’ve seen them disagree, share, surprise, complain, compliment, celebrate, console, care, and kiss. One day, I watched as they “guided” an uninvited wild bird out the door! Being in their home is never dull…being there is an experience! What a pair! Love you, dear sister and brother-in-law!

PS from Joan — Thank you, Betty! You should have been here yesterday. Hogan, our golden retriever, presented us with a very dead and mangled squirrel – she brought that thing right into the house. Now you really should see a blind guy and a squeamish grandma removing a dead squirrel from the den without touching it………….yuck! It took both of us. Whitey grabbed a towel and I grabbed a trash bag. Whitey covered the squirrel with the towel and I directed him on picking it up and putting it into the trash bag I was holding! Why on earth didn’t I just pick up the squirrel myself? It simply would have taken hours for me to gather the nerve to do that — easier just to help him do it! Gross!

Just imagine, you dropped by my house today for a cup of coffee. We are just chatting along gaily, when suddenly you hear something. What’s that noise??

Well, our house is pretty noisy sometimes. As I was typing this post, the alarm went off in the kitchen. A lady’s voice is saying “it’s 7:30 a.m.” and she repeats that about 7 times! and it beeps, too!

For the legally blind, these talking products are a fabulous necessity! How many times today have you looked at your watch or a clock?

Whitey depends on his talking watch all day every day. If he wakes in the night, and wants to know the time, he just pushes a button on that trusty little talking watch.

PS I will share a little secret, just for you, readers of this blog — Notice in the photo of Whitey, he is looking at his watch! He does not have to look at his watch to hear it, folks! In fact, he barely can see the watch itself. I am not sure he can at all. But I insisted on taking a photo of him with his watch, and this is what I got. Now I wonder if the readers of the Squidoo lens will realize that. But for me, it’s funny, and I get tickled every time I visit that lens!

PPS Yes, he broke his finger — sliding down a sliding board at our 6 year old grandson’s birthday party! The doctor said, “and how old are you?” lol

In honor of Global Belly Laugh Day, I am interrupting our thoughts on blindness. Today, January 24, is the fifth annual celebration of Global Belly Laugh day.

At precisely 1:24 p.m. today (your local time), throw your arms up in the air and laugh outloud! This is the Belly Laugh Bounce around the world! Certainly you don’t want to miss that! Can you imagine people around the world laughing today? View the World Clock of laughter and participate in this joyful celebration!

And to assist you in your laughter — I received this one in my email. It is credited to David McClure from the Dallas News Community Opinion page.

$5.37. That’s what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bueno said to me. I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me. He said, “It’s OK ! I’ll just give you the senior citizen discount.”

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. “Only $4.68″ he said cheerfully. I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet, a mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo! Was he blind? As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I’ll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

“Dude! Can’t get too far without your car keys, eh?” I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind. “Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!”

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn’t turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another. Still nothing. That’s when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror. I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror !

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard. Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle. Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life.

That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found!

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time. There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, “What is the world coming to?”but all I could say was, “Did I leave my food and drink in here?” At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, “I think you left this in my truck by mistake !” I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: “It’s OK ! My grandfather does stuff like this all the time!”

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.. And no, I told the officer, I’m not too old to be driving this fast!
As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky.

The good news was I had successfully found my way home !

When Whitey was declared legally blind in 1988, we immediately began searching out ways to cope and organize our home. His attitude has always been “it could be something worse.” His positive approach to his disability has been an inspiration to us all. He has always had fun and laughed often — and he has continued in that same spirit.

Here are a few quick tips for you:

1. The knobs and drawer pulls on your kitchen cabinets should be significantly darker or lighter than the cabinets themselves. Repaint the hardware until your legally blind family member can easily make that distinction.

2. Discard all socks and start over. Buy one color of socks and buy about 7 pair of that one color. Do not purchase other colors of socks. You want your family member to be as self-sufficient as possible. Same color socks will help — no matching required.

3. Buy printed or striped tops and solid pants or skirts. Coordinate all clothing so that no matter which item is chosen, it will match any other top or bottom. This is very simple with men. We buy navy and khaki pants. My husband has golf shirts of all colors. And all will match the navy and khaki, so he is able to dress himself and always looks coordinated.

4. Purchase “bubbles” to use on the remote control, microwave and telephone. These clear plastic bubbles are very inexpensive and are available from merchants who specialize in items to assist the handicapped. The bubbles are self-sticking. Simply add bubbles to areas your patient deems convenient.

5. You will also want to paint stairways in bright colors, especially the edges of stair steps. A strip of reflective tape might be helpful also. As with any of these ideas, you will need to adjust them to your patient’s particular visual acuity.

6. It is best not to rearrange furniture. However, if moving furniture becomes necessary, be sure your legally blind family member knows exactly what has been moved.

7. When serving food, inform the patient of the location of the food by use of a clock face. For example, “Your chicken is at 2:00 and your beans are at 5:00.” After a few weeks, you will automatically do this quickly and quietly.

I hope these 7 tips will be helpful. You will discover new ways of adjusting as you live with this situation. Never hesitate to ask questions or to seek support.

Note: I originally wrote this article for ezinearticles.com. I have made a few changes to make it appropriate for this blog. Thank you.

Continuing yesterday’s discussion of my husband’s legal blindness and how we cope –

Whitey had hernia surgery a couple of weeks ago. As with every other doctor visit or hospital visit, he was busy creating havoc. Just before they wheeled him into surgery, staff popped in and out of the room, checking his armband and asking “What is your name?” Finally he could take it no longer. He answered “Sidney Shagnasty!”

Wouldn’t you like to know what that nurse told the rest of the staff when she got out of that room?

Of course, he had also asked the surgeon his classic question — “Doc, will I be able to drive after this surgery?”
The doctor said, “Yes, in a few weeks you should be able to drive”

“It’s a miracle! I have not driven in over 25 years! Thank you, Doc!”

I can’t take him anywhere!